Bitch!

I’ve been driving for X number of years already. They say that once you’ve learned the skill, it’s going to be like second nature to you. I’m the exception to the rule. Up to this day, it takes me ten moves to park my car, esp if it’s parallel parking, if it involves a lot of reverse and if space is not ideal. Valet is heaven’s gift to people like me. I don’t even know why I was given a license. (Oh! I just remembered, a fixer helped me, hehe).

My driving skill was put to a test last week. I had to go to a bank to settle my finances and the parking space beside the building was full. So obviously I had to look for another one. On my way out, a black Honda blocked my way. Frustrated, I got out of the car and asked where the driver was. The guard/bystander told me the lady driver was in the other building, was already told that she parked illegally and yet she was hard headed enough to leave the car and proceeded with her business. This, by the way, was explained to me while 3 cars behind me were honking their horns. They probably thought I was the culprit. I just made a hand signal that we all have to go back as the road wasn’t passable.

The three drivers were able to maneuver their cars effortlessly. I, however, spent 5 stressful minutes just to get out of that claustrophobic parking lot. And that’s because of that witch who totally had no consideration of others. Biatch!

So, I was playing with my car keys on my way to the bank. Suddenly, I thought of something ingenious ... and cruel. But who cares, she provoked me! It was a sunny beautiful day until that whore ruined it. So, I coolly passed by her car, used my keys to scratch her oh-so-shiny-brand-new-wheels. Oooh, I loved the sound of the 2 metals coming in contact with each other. I gave myself a pat on the back for that cunning move.

Served her right. She’s a bitch … but I’m bithchier!