Happy Ending

I was just done watching one of the episodes of Desperate Housewives. It was the episode when Edie and Susan were (un)fortunately stuck in the basement. Since they’ve got nothing but ample time, Edie mapped out Susan’s lovelife to prove a point -- she can’t be without a man. And true enough, she only stayed single for 41 days her entire life.

I know it’s just fiction, but wow! How can someone be that … lucky? I mean, I can’t help but relate it to my own sorry lovelife. I just turned 31 and hmm, lemme do some math … I only had one official relationship!!! (The song "It's Raining Men"? Definitely not intended for me!)

If it’s any consolation, I’m a late bloomer. I mean, I only got to appreciate men late college. During my early adult life, I acted dense when guys hit on me, turned down some date requests and brushed off some guys I like because my friends hated them. Now, I have signs of having a mid-life crisis -- I feel so unwanted and unattractive. No one seems to have even a slight interest in me. No one hits on me, no guy getting my phone number asking for a date, my friends think every guy is good enough because they can’t wait to get me hitched. Waaaah!

I have a friend who despises going to weddings and attending family gatherings. You know how it goes -- friends asking if you’re seeing someone, you say no one in particular and out goes all the old maid jokes. It was amusing when you’re just a third party listening to an earful of harsh comments. But when the joke is on you, it’s a different story. Now I can sincerely empathize with my friend. Was your name called out not just once, but more than 5 times during a wedding party, asking you to take part of the catch-the bride’s-bouquet- thing? What’s worse was the other “contestants” are still in their teeny-weeny-bopper years or are just fresh out of college. Worst part was, the bride was secretly manipulating the game just so you’ll get the most-prized, overrated, overpriced bouquet.. Arrgh!!!!

I’ve had a lot of alone time – that’s an understatement. Seriously, it’s beneficial as you’ll discover yourself and make you totally independent. I normally spend the weekends just pampering myself – getting my nails done, spa treatment, the works. I can basically do whatever I want. But when the wave of insecurity strikes, like this very moment, you can’t help but wallow in self-pity. I miss the wake-up calls your significant other gives you everyday. I miss the questions, “Have you eaten?”, “How was your day?”. I miss the nonsense text messages. I miss it when someone checks out on me, if I’m home after a gimmick blah blah blah. I miss the petty quarrels and the sweet kiss-and make-up after.

My friend once quipped “Being single is sexy” without a tinge of sarcasm. I can gamely say the line a couple years back without batting an eyelash. Now, I wish I could manage to say those 4 words without me barfing. Gimme a break! I’ve been single for 5 years and I guess it’s high time I have someone in my life who can magically make my life more bearable and enjoyable.

Edie and Susan aptly said it: “I could use a happy ending”.

P.S. I just checked my calendar, and I’m near my period. So it dawned on me that this sicko feeling is just part of PMS … again. That’s what you get when your eggcells are dwindling and there are no likely spermcells around.. Tick-tock, tick-tock….